In fifth grade we were making little clay statues and mine came out shitty so I left a big air pocket in it so it would explode when the teacher put it in the kiln and it exploded so hard it destroyed ten other kids’s statues and they were all on the verge of tears I thought it was really funny I still do
I CAN’T COPE WITH THIS
“You and I is a love song, it’s saying that you’re inseparable and nothing can get in the way of… you and your love.”
my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you
real women have curves. real women have one single, continuous, infinite curve. real women are a hollow sphere of mass 1kg, suspended in a void. calculate real women’s acceleration if real women is struck by an object accelerating east at 5m/s/s.
- Teacher: "Can you please tell the class why you're so late?"
- Me: Someone told me to go to hell
- Me: Couldn't find it at first
- Me: But now I'm here